Kung Pao: Fury Of The Chicken Master
by Chicken Yuki
Summary: One is an aspiring chicken rancher clothed in red. The other is a seedy merchant in yellow. Flower Bud Village can only accept one into their precious lands. Who will it be? Find out in this martial arts freeforall!


"That lovely deep red hair... those awkward yet gentle teal eyes... and that warm, motherly smile... I still remember the face of that woman who started me on my life's work."

Slowly making his way towards Flower Bud Village was a hopeful young man in a red traveling robe and light red pants. He had short, raven black hair with ruby red eyes filled with yearning. His normally tan face reddened with the thoughts of a significant other as he gently clutched a chicken in his hand. It was an even more peculiar sight as three other chickens marched obediently behind him.

The young man faced the chicken clutched in his hand with a warm smile. "Hey Ruby, do you still remember that lovely young lady who brought us together? It must've been quite a sacrifice offering you up like that, but I'm glad to receive you like that. In this way, I feel that she entrusted a part of her to me!"

After a few moments of mirth, the chicken boy let out a great sigh. "Anju... is it possible that were only meant to cross paths just that one time? I sought to meet you in your home of Hyrule Town, but by the time I made it, you moved out somewhere. I'm beginning to wonder if a chance encounter will ever happen..."

After walking for a few more minutes, the forlorn chicken boy spotted a small shack with a near by sign with the words, "Hearty Lyla" written in cursive. He surveyed more of the land before him and recognized a few key buildings and landmarks. He then nodded to himself in satisfaction.

"This is most definitely the place Ray told me about. Okay, now it's time I take advantage of this "Exciting Ranch Plan" and start up business!" he thought in his mind.

Just then, a middle-aged Asian man in a flashy yellow Chinese outfit and cap wandered to his side with a cart by his side. His aging black hair were styled in a stereotypical facial style and braids. Along with his yellow-based clothing, this conspicuous stranger wore thick round glasses and a most sinister smile.

"Ah, yes... Flower Bud Village... a fresh bundle of suckers ready to be scammed... well, better to get to work!" he grinned.

The sleazy tone of the Asian merchant sent the chicken boy's soul ablaze. He turned to face his yellow-clad adversary with fire in his eyes.

For what seemed like forever, the two newcomers exchanged threatening glances, as if the two were ready to delve into an epic battle.

**Harvest Moon: Magical Melody**

**Kung Pao: Fury Of The Chicken Master**

The ruby-eyed stranger gently put his prized chicken aside before pointing an index finger at then grinning merchant.

"VILLIAN!" he shouted aloud.

The yellow-wearing man chuckled in amusement. "Oh, no! I, the great peddler Won, sir, am no villain. I assure you that why I said before was but a joke!"

The chicken boy's deadly glare remained unchanged. "Is that so? Your previous words sounded disturbingly honest, unlike the garbage you're spewing out now."

Won chuckled again as he dug into his selling cart for some of his wares. "So, I cannot convince you see easily, yes? Well then, how about I show you some of my fine merchandising? If you are interested, I sell you something for very good price!" he announced.

"Take your filthy cart of evil back into the abyss where it belongs, charlatan!" he cried.

Shortly afterwards, the spectacled merchant took out a bunch of apples and slipped some into his sleeves. He then presented to the angry chicken traveler three shiny red apples.

"Here I have three special apples, all induced with a special natural potency that enhances specific physical abilities and guaranteed to have a great taste!" he grinned.

The chicken boy scoffed. "I can't believe this rip-off artist insists on pulling this charade" he thought.

"Right here is a delicious S-U-G-D apple, guaranteed to give you boundless energy! For a strapping young man such as yourself, I will accept... 500 gold!" Won proposed.

The chicken boy growled. "Not on your life..."

"Okay, okay. Customer not convinced, huh? Then how about this A-W-O-L apple? You'll gain the strength of 100 men consuming this! For you... I'll sell it at an even better deal of 350 gold!"

The chicken boy glared at him silently.

"Wow, you're a really good haggler! Okay then, perhaps a single bachelor such as yourself seeks help wooing the women. How about I offer you this P-I-M-P apple for my greatest price yet: 300 gold!"

The chicken boy sighed. "Okay, now you're just getting carried aw--"

"Okay, final offer!"

The steely-eyed Won placed his previous three apples back in his cart, and took out a final apple that eerily gleamed in the sun. The pedder then slowly pushed his cart back a few yards before he held out his apple in pride.

"THIS particular item has been one of my best sellers with a few prominent market. It assure you, this baby has satisfied many a customer who have found its wonders! I call it the B-O-M-B apple!"

The chicken boy's eyes widened it shock. "What?"

Won grinned deviously. "Here, I'll let you try it out yourself!". Swiftly, the sinister merchant lobbed the apple right at his potential customer.

Without hesitation, the chicken boy side-stepped the shiny apple just in time to avoid a devastating explosion.

"Now you're trying to take my life!" he exclaimed.

Won laughed manically. "I see that you are unwilling to accept my wares, and you may very well keep me from finding success in Flower Bud Village! It is clear to me that you are a threat to my business!" he proclaimed.

"Why YOU--"

Won slipped out a few apples from his sleeve and started chucking like crazy, sending explosion after explosion around him. The chickens fled in a panic as the blasts approached them. In a stunning leap, the chicken boy raised high above the explosions and landed smoothly on the floor.

"Those are some impressive abilities you have, young man. But can you avoid my apple assault forever?" Won crowed.

Moving at ridiculously-high speed, the murderous merchant tossed apple after apple at the brave chicken rancher. The black-haired youth ducked and weaved through the bombarding at lightening pace as he rushed towards his adversary. After coming only a few feet from Won, the villainous peddler let loose a cross formation of apples to keep him from going on the offense, but the dexterous chicken boy jumped diagonally to avoid the deadly assault.

Won snapped his fingers. "Curses, that last attack left me with only one apple! Oh well, he's left himself open right now, so---"

Won tossed his remaining apple towards the chicken boy's face, who quickly responded with a jumping roundhouse kick that sent the apple right back at the scheming merchant with twice the speed. However, Won proved just as vigilant as he knocked the apple away, causing one last spectacular explosion behind him.

"You are far too good young man" Won grinned. He then took out a sickle he carefully hid in his clothes and charged forward. "Now you must face my sickle kung fu!"

The chicken boy jumped backwards to avoid the first blurry slash of Won's sickle. He was then forced to dodge a demonically fast diagonal slash, followed up two consecutive vertical slashes, and a tricky upwards slash. Won then leaned in to deliver one more speedy vertical slash, the chicken boy easily ducked under and quickly retaliated with a rising uppercut that propelled both him and his opponent into the sky. The chicken boy landed gracefully on the ground as Won recovered with a mid-air back flip.

"Ah, yes... the Rising Chicken Fist. I did not know you were a disciple of Niwatori-ryu Karate" Won acknowledged in wonder

The chicken boy then went into a fighting stance and looked ready to strike. "That's not all..."

He then rushed at full speed and launched an assault of his own without allowing Won to retaliate. He hit Won hard with three swift hooks followed up with a rising knee, and finished up a flying kick to his stomach. Still, the seedy merchant was able to make a stunning recovery.

"Some Chineese kickboxing and Muay Thai to boot. Impressive. You've certainly made your way around the world, kid!" he grinned. Won then advanced once more with his shining sickle. "TOO BAD YOU'LL HAVE TO TAKE THOSE PRODIGAL SKILLS TO THE GRAVE!"

The chicken boy quickly intercepted the charging merchant with a side kick to Won's gut, followed by a spinning back kick, but Won blocked with his sickle and pushed the chicken martial artist back. The seedy merchant was back on the offensive once more, giving the chicken boy little time to evade and counter. Eventually, the chicken warrior got under yet another strike and managed to get behind Won, ready to deliver another Rising Chicken Fist, when Won countered with a hard back fist to his face. He was then forced to retreat from Won's rising back kick aimed at his chin.

Again, Won laughed aloud. "Fool! There is little that the Eye of the Merchant cannot see! Do you truly believe your astonishing Chicken Spirit can help you win this fight?" he crowed.

"You know nothing" the chicken warrior uttered calmly with a sly grin on his face.

The chicken warrior ran towards his foe again as Won readied his sickle in his right hand. As the brave fighter again came in close proximity to Won, the seedy merchant tried to intercept by thrusting out his left elbow, which was easily jumped over, but then Won swung his sickle above his head to bring it down upon his airborne foe. Luckily, the chicken warrior intercepted the deadly sickle's blade with a clasp, and responded with a full-force scissor kick atop Won's head, and followed up with a double rising knee to the gut, leaving Won with his sickle crashing into the ground. This brief time gave the chicken warrior the perfect opportunity to charge up one final attack.

Won gasped as he saw a flaming aura envelop the chicken fighter. "Egads! It's... it's... one of the secret final arts of the Niwatori-ryu..." he croaked.

As Won's helpless body finally began its descent, the eager chicken warrior balled up his left hand into an inferno-charged fist and leaned right into Won's direction.

"MOERU-KEN!"

Right when the weakened Merchant reached the chicken warrior's neck level, he was immediately dealt a scorching punch that sent him right into the stratosphere.

"IT BURNS!" Won cried as his voice trailed off into the distance.

The chicken warrior then grinned as he struck an impressive victory pose. He then looked around to see his four chickens unscathed from the struggle. He picked up the one he called Ruby and headed triumphantly into Flower Bud Village with the other three chickens marching behind him. With a raging fire still burning into his eyes, the chicken boy thrusted out his right index finger straight at the place he would soon call home.

"Oh yeah! Make way, Flower Bud Village! Your daily routine is about to get a whole lot better, because today will mark the official establishment of the Crimson Cock Chicken Ranch! That's right, Mitch the Chicken Maniac has just arrived!"

_Author's Notes: Sweet, sweet action has come again! Okay, that was random, but I intended to introduce this character eventually. Geez, with you people dissatisfied with "Ray's Rocky Mountain Adventure", I hope this martial arts tale managed to get your blood pumping. Man, this was cheesy... at least I finally got this story out of my system. Now, if I can just find the perfect plot device to get Anju into the picture..._

_Yes… FEAR THE INANITY! _


End file.
